This is about more than the body now!

Small shift.. huge impact.

So I have reached day 20, a fifth of the way through my journey.

As far as the body is concerned, things have steadied and settled.

I have lost 2 kilos since day 10. A slowing from the loss of the first ten days but that was expected. Still on track.

My blood pressure is perfect and my energy in the day is now good.

I was for a few days however, sleeping much less at night and found myself awake in the early hours, with what felt like too much excess energy and wakefulness. This is now improving and I am settling more easily.

My dreams have become extraordinarily vivid and linger around me all day. I have experienced this before in times of abstinence and expected it.

I am watching these dreams with great interest. They are a new window to my awakening subconscious mind.

Enjoying strident walks through the Palace and Woods with my beautiful doggie Mojo.

Soon, I plan to start increasing the pace and length of my walks to boost my cardio and fitness levels. I will even start jogging, but not till day 30, as I wish to give my heart and lungs an extended holiday before putting them to work.

Still not craving either the habitual ritual, nor the effects, of space changing or mind altering foods, drinks or drugs. Quite amazing. Will I ever want them again?

Uh, probably!

But other realizations and insights are now surfacing that I had not even considered.

I have attended a few parties and social events like my monthly drum circle and am discovering that not only can I enjoy myself in the natural state, but also that if a party is, let’s say not resonating with me, I am able to just leave and do something else, with no sense of disappointment.

In other words, I feel much more responsible for my space and in control of deciding if I am in a sociable and chatty mood, or just wanting to be quiet and peaceful without judging one above the other.

I have always looked forward to parties and still do. But now, socializing no longer means escaping from my ‘boring‘ life.

In a way, it feels like the parties are never starting and so are actually never ending.

I feared that being at parties without drinking or whatever, I would be bored or worse boring, in company. Turns out, it’s not so.

A whole new way of being around people has arisen. A much less fearful, more open and ‘present’ experience is what I am finding. I’m not sure if others are enjoying my company more or less. That’s for them to decide.

I am also finding that my workspace and desk are much more organized and tidy than ever before. And I am getting so much more stuff done!

I am finding myself able to deal with much more activity and move through tasks with little or no stress.

Another change I have noticed, and this may be coincidence or I may be unwittingly manifesting it, but since beginning this project, I have found my financial and creative situation improving, but not through any direct conscious action.

It feels as though the new space inside is acting like a metaphysical vacuum and drawing in more and more possibilities without any effort.

As the fog clears after so many years, a completely new scene is emerging.

One very different to what I left behind as a younger man.

I could describe it as increased confidence, or inspiration, or a sense of my potential in life becoming a reality. But the closest I can get to the experience is that it is a diminishment of fear.

It’s like suddenly having a skeleton key that can open all the doors of my life.

With one turn, everything is unlocking simultaneously. Work, creativity, meaning, passion, growth, vision, determination health, vitality…all are surfacing and intensifying and it all feels very, very good!

It’s no wonder I have been keeping myself in an emotional, mental and physical prison…Somewhere inside I have always been aware of the power I have, and have not had the courage to release it. The gate has bust open. The beast is free. No going back now!

My next update at day 30 will be from the sun drenched shores of southern Crete, where I will be hiking, swimming and chilling with my wonderful big sister.

Till Then.