Day ten. 90 to go.

So, still in detox I guess, feeling a bit ill with a summer chill and getting over a very wobbly period. feeling good about not poisening the body but also as expected, feeling a bit gappy and lost. finding it difficult to sleep so concentration and mental fogginess is a bit of a problem. Also feeling a bit stressed as I'm not using drugs and booze to shut out the world.

I am expecting a big improvement in my energy over the next ten days and an end to the sleepyness that comes with not smoking weed. Went to a great party last weekend and enjoyed fully with no intoxication.

Could do with a bit more summery weather to keep my mood up but hey thats England.
Peacy lovey out till day 20 xx

100 DAYS OF GOOD DECISIONS 2011

So begins another 100 days of good decisions.
A well earned rest for my body and a clarifying of mental muddy water.

I am dreading the sleepyness and wild dreams that are part of the first ten days, but looking forward to the steadyness and relaxed energy that follows. If you would like more background to the process please read my blog from August 2009, the first year I did it. It explains the method, and the subsequent blogs show the process unfolding as I update the blog every ten days. I have condensed all the reasons I am taking this on, into what I term the 'My Four B's. In very particular order they are.....

• My Body


• My Beloveds


• My Band


• My Business

See you at day Ten!!

And so it was done.

November 23rd and day 100.

So, I have come to the end of the project.

Looking back it seems a long time ago now.

August 16th was the weekend after I got back from the Big Chill festie.

the sun was blazing hot through the long days of summer.

I was walking Mojo at 7.30 or 8 in the evening, wearing a T shirt.

Barbies in the garden, building a veggie bed, soaking up the evening sun.

Coughing , wheezing, anxious about the pains in my chest, feeling dizzy and heavy in my body.

Tired, foggy in the head and unable to concentrate. Migraines popping up regularly. and an expanding waistline.

Oh how I miss those days!

And today?

Today, the wind howled and the rain blasted down the street with a ferocity I have not witnessed in this country before.

I have seen rain like that in the Indian Monsoon and during powerful storms in South Africa but never in London. I spotted a break in the weather and quickly rushed out with Mojo at 3.10 pm and got back in the dark 1 hour later chilled and windswept.

On Saturday night I went to a party and then on to an all night Bash in south London. I kept going with a few nice strong cups of tea from the bar, got in at about 4am.

Yesterday I was pretty bushed, but today, day 100, I am clear in my head, although my neck is a bit stiff I am not suffering with aches and pains in my chest or anywhere else actually.

I feel calm, focused and more and more relaxed, in spite of huge challenges underway at the moment. I will be getting my cholesterol checked this week and hope to be able to report that I am much closer to a normal level.

I am also intending to purchase a small lightweight bench to do weights and strength training.

This will help me to maintain my core stability and build some more muscle mass.

I realized a few days ago, (on the 16th Nov) that I quit tobacco one year ago.

That useless drug has really seen the last of me, but the others, well I plan a glass of champers and maybe a lil puff of something to see how that feels tomorrow evening.

I will write a final entry for this project in a week when I have had some time to see how my behavior or cravings etc have changed...or not!

It has generally been very easy and I have actually enjoyed my 100 days of good decisions for the body.

Still working on my strategies for the affluence project but already I am putting out more energy there and seeing results.

Thanks for following me on this blog and thank you to everyone who has supported me through it. The help and enthusiasm from you all has been so useful and inspiring.

Much love, Much peace

Marc/Diva

comin 'round the last bend

Time is definitely accelerating.

Today is day 90 and it has come by so fast!

I have been very busy with so many things and changes that I barely notice the days as they fly by.

Although I have good energy in the day, I am still finding deep sleep elusive and so I run out of puff around 11pm.

I am suffering a deep level of stress right now and hope that as that subsides, I will return to some good kip.

My weight is reducing nice and steadily now and although I am unlikely to hit my target by the end of the 100 days, I will be only a couple of kilos over, so I will really focus on continuing to eat very consciously.

Recently, I have been experiencing some mild pangs for this and that, thinking about white wine and maybe a pipe, not heavy cravings but a kind of interest to see how I relate to these 'old friends' after the break.

I now believe that I will basically remain clear and sober most of the time and hope to be able to occasionally indulge as appropriate. We will see what happens.

One thing I know is that if I begin to use habitually in the way I did before, then it will probably mean me giving up for...1000 days!

As I approach the finish line for '100 days of good decisions - body', I am formulating the next challenge that I feel needs some attention in my life now.

At this point the main contender is '100 days of good decisions - affluence'!

I love this word!

It goes beyond just money accumulation or financial independence/security.

The dictionary defines it thus;

af⋅flu⋅ence

  [af-loo-uhns or, often, uh-floo-]

–noun

1.	abundance of money, property, and other material goods; riches; wealth.

2.	an abundant supply, as of thoughts or words; profusion.

3.	a flowing to or toward; afflux.

Origin:
1350–1400; ME <>affluentia, equiv. to af- af- + flu- flow +-entia -ence

I Particularly like the 3rd definition that evokes a sense of effortlessness that resonates with the '100 days' concept.

You see, I don't have to become an 'entreprenuer', I don't have to re-identify myself as 'into money' or that now I must dedicate my focus from now on to getting rich.

Just as I didn't have become 'sober' or teetotal for life.

I just devote 100 days to good decisions that bring the desired results.

I can then enjoy opening to the world of wealth and financial abundance, without feeling as though I have sacrificed some 'higher calling' in my life, or that I have questionable priorities!

Again, all stories we write to ourselves. So again, From this Monday the 16th November until Tuesday 23rd February, (same date numbers as the first project), I will surrender to my higher power for 100 days and allow it to guide my actions through good decisions, towards affluence.

I will allow myself to slip into the river of plenty and ride the current.

At the end of the 100 days, I will have created results that will endure,

as I have done with my health.

Having flicked the switch from physical self destruct or unwell-ness

to physical self create or well-ness,

I now flick the switch from poverty to affluence!

Easy really!

I will elaborate on my affluence actions and strategies on day 10, which will also be the big day 100 of 'body'!

If anyone would like to join me in this affluence experiment, please feel free!

Big fat peace, love and out!

Full Moon Fever

So here we are at day 80.

The leaves are falling and the smell of autumn is all around

So much has happened in the last 20 days and I am still processing it all.

I feel as though I am now getting ready to hibernate energetically and start moving more inward as the winter rolls in.

I find myself drawn to introspection and self searching.

I hope to find my true calling in this life as I move into the next phase of my development.

Right now I need a lot of quiet time and peaceful solitude.

The body has settled in to a healthier rhythm and my energy has steadied.

People are now asking me what I plan to do once I reach the 100 day finish post.

The truth is, I have no idea. I will see what comes up in me on the day.

I am interested to see how it feels to be drunk and high after so long and more importantly, how 'I feel' about how 'it feels'!

I am slowly developing a new and evolved 100 day plan to enhance the changes and adjustments that I have experienced over this time.

More on that as it grows. If this 100 day experiment is anything to go by, I feel I can change almost anything in my life and reality with this system, which I have found so, so easy.

Peace (extra peace) and love.

Today I realized it was day 61!

Yesterday I reached day 60 and completely forgot until today.

It would seem that I am not counting the days as much as before.

It has been a very challenging period

Much is changing and growing around me and i feel that it is all leading to a clearer and more joyful time ahead.

The body is still not 100% following the shingles attack and although I can walk briskly and far with Mojo, I am still quite puffed out after our walks.

I have taken to doing humming meditation each night before sleep and listening to discourses from Osho.

As a child my parents took me to listen to taped discourses of the then Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh at various meditation centres around London and I would drift off to the sound of of his voice, only woken by the giggling of listeners following some crazy joke he might pop out.

So now his voice is comforting and soothing to me and all this is helping me sleep a little better. Even so, I am still waking up 2 or 3 times a night and experience disturbance in my body.

Continuing to lose weight and eat very carefully, usually just a bowl of fruit salad and then a reasonable size dinner. no other noshing or nibbling so that is moving along well.

I may leave the next blog until day 80 unless something worth reporting comes up.

The Mayan people have a lovely greeting that translates as "I am one of you, and you are one of me". It has inspired my most recent song that I have named after the greeting "Chamana urbana". Looking forward to recording and gigging it soon.

Love and peace and out

Halfway happenings

Why does day 50 feel like day one?

I have reached the halfway point of my project and am amazed to find that the ease and effortlessness remains, as it it did from day one.

I now seem to be over the worst of the shingles attack and am relieved to be off the anti-virals that completely wiped me out.

The right side of my face still feels like bad sunburn but it is slowly settling down.

Enjoyed a gathering of friends over the weekend and thought that it might be nice (and a good decision), to celebrate the halfway mark with a glass of my favorite wine.

The first sip was a shock. It just tasted awful. I was unable to drink it. just the most sour dry raspy taste and I gave up trying. I think my taste for wine has somehow 'un-aquired' itself!

I wonder if after day 100 I will find any old vice appealing at all.

I am still attempting to figure out why after so many years of habitual addiction, I was able, 50 days ago to just quit, and stay quit. As a bit of a control freak I feel the need to understand what has changed. If not to be of assistance to others, than at least for my own personal inner understanding.

I remember thinking to myself and mentioning to others that if I had a switch in the back of my head that if flipped, would remove all my craving and desire to be high or drunk, that I would grab the chance and flip the switch. Even if it meant never wanting to have those things ever again.

I am now seeing that that switch was flicked the moment I chose to start the project!

Looking back to mid August as I was counting down the two weeks to day one, it felt like I was so desperate to begin the process and save my poor body from the onslaught, but kept going with all the crazy nonsense, as if something inside was pushing me to really, really finish with running away from my life and myself. I was due to begin on the 20th August but out of sheer desperation brought the date forward to Sunday 16th.

By the time Sunday came around (day one), I was just so relieved to finally be free to not have to abuse my body. I felt liberated. As if I had just been released from jail and was standing outside the gate with a clear open road ahead.

How bizzare is that?

Perhaps, I am now considering, that it has not been about letting the body make the decisions at all. Maybe something bigger is at work that is deeper and wider than just the body.

I am sensing that a part of me that is not my normal conscious state is actually taking over the controls. Something beyond my 'doing' or affecting.

Too much other stuff is coming up, too many challenges are in my life and I sense that I am actually preparing myself for big changes that are imminent. Changes on all levels, within me, around me, and around all of us.

The status quo is losing it's meaning and dissolving. Things that used to matter no longer do, and things that I used to keep at a distance for fear of dealing with, are moving to the front of my experience. It is becoming clear to me that this whole project is about what I mentioned a few weeks ago. Diminishment of fear.

The first step was to stop controlling my head and heart with drink and drugs and begin to clear my mind. Now the next stage is able to start. I don't know what that means but something has begun

Watching the big wide open spaces.

I hope they have filled up with something in the next ten days.

Peace and love and out!