And so it was done.

November 23rd and day 100.

So, I have come to the end of the project.

Looking back it seems a long time ago now.

August 16th was the weekend after I got back from the Big Chill festie.

the sun was blazing hot through the long days of summer.

I was walking Mojo at 7.30 or 8 in the evening, wearing a T shirt.

Barbies in the garden, building a veggie bed, soaking up the evening sun.

Coughing , wheezing, anxious about the pains in my chest, feeling dizzy and heavy in my body.

Tired, foggy in the head and unable to concentrate. Migraines popping up regularly. and an expanding waistline.

Oh how I miss those days!

And today?

Today, the wind howled and the rain blasted down the street with a ferocity I have not witnessed in this country before.

I have seen rain like that in the Indian Monsoon and during powerful storms in South Africa but never in London. I spotted a break in the weather and quickly rushed out with Mojo at 3.10 pm and got back in the dark 1 hour later chilled and windswept.

On Saturday night I went to a party and then on to an all night Bash in south London. I kept going with a few nice strong cups of tea from the bar, got in at about 4am.

Yesterday I was pretty bushed, but today, day 100, I am clear in my head, although my neck is a bit stiff I am not suffering with aches and pains in my chest or anywhere else actually.

I feel calm, focused and more and more relaxed, in spite of huge challenges underway at the moment. I will be getting my cholesterol checked this week and hope to be able to report that I am much closer to a normal level.

I am also intending to purchase a small lightweight bench to do weights and strength training.

This will help me to maintain my core stability and build some more muscle mass.

I realized a few days ago, (on the 16th Nov) that I quit tobacco one year ago.

That useless drug has really seen the last of me, but the others, well I plan a glass of champers and maybe a lil puff of something to see how that feels tomorrow evening.

I will write a final entry for this project in a week when I have had some time to see how my behavior or cravings etc have changed...or not!

It has generally been very easy and I have actually enjoyed my 100 days of good decisions for the body.

Still working on my strategies for the affluence project but already I am putting out more energy there and seeing results.

Thanks for following me on this blog and thank you to everyone who has supported me through it. The help and enthusiasm from you all has been so useful and inspiring.

Much love, Much peace

Marc/Diva

comin 'round the last bend

Time is definitely accelerating.

Today is day 90 and it has come by so fast!

I have been very busy with so many things and changes that I barely notice the days as they fly by.

Although I have good energy in the day, I am still finding deep sleep elusive and so I run out of puff around 11pm.

I am suffering a deep level of stress right now and hope that as that subsides, I will return to some good kip.

My weight is reducing nice and steadily now and although I am unlikely to hit my target by the end of the 100 days, I will be only a couple of kilos over, so I will really focus on continuing to eat very consciously.

Recently, I have been experiencing some mild pangs for this and that, thinking about white wine and maybe a pipe, not heavy cravings but a kind of interest to see how I relate to these 'old friends' after the break.

I now believe that I will basically remain clear and sober most of the time and hope to be able to occasionally indulge as appropriate. We will see what happens.

One thing I know is that if I begin to use habitually in the way I did before, then it will probably mean me giving up for...1000 days!

As I approach the finish line for '100 days of good decisions - body', I am formulating the next challenge that I feel needs some attention in my life now.

At this point the main contender is '100 days of good decisions - affluence'!

I love this word!

It goes beyond just money accumulation or financial independence/security.

The dictionary defines it thus;

af⋅flu⋅ence

  [af-loo-uhns or, often, uh-floo-]

–noun

1.	abundance of money, property, and other material goods; riches; wealth.

2.	an abundant supply, as of thoughts or words; profusion.

3.	a flowing to or toward; afflux.

Origin:
1350–1400; ME <>affluentia, equiv. to af- af- + flu- flow +-entia -ence

I Particularly like the 3rd definition that evokes a sense of effortlessness that resonates with the '100 days' concept.

You see, I don't have to become an 'entreprenuer', I don't have to re-identify myself as 'into money' or that now I must dedicate my focus from now on to getting rich.

Just as I didn't have become 'sober' or teetotal for life.

I just devote 100 days to good decisions that bring the desired results.

I can then enjoy opening to the world of wealth and financial abundance, without feeling as though I have sacrificed some 'higher calling' in my life, or that I have questionable priorities!

Again, all stories we write to ourselves. So again, From this Monday the 16th November until Tuesday 23rd February, (same date numbers as the first project), I will surrender to my higher power for 100 days and allow it to guide my actions through good decisions, towards affluence.

I will allow myself to slip into the river of plenty and ride the current.

At the end of the 100 days, I will have created results that will endure,

as I have done with my health.

Having flicked the switch from physical self destruct or unwell-ness

to physical self create or well-ness,

I now flick the switch from poverty to affluence!

Easy really!

I will elaborate on my affluence actions and strategies on day 10, which will also be the big day 100 of 'body'!

If anyone would like to join me in this affluence experiment, please feel free!

Big fat peace, love and out!

Full Moon Fever

So here we are at day 80.

The leaves are falling and the smell of autumn is all around

So much has happened in the last 20 days and I am still processing it all.

I feel as though I am now getting ready to hibernate energetically and start moving more inward as the winter rolls in.

I find myself drawn to introspection and self searching.

I hope to find my true calling in this life as I move into the next phase of my development.

Right now I need a lot of quiet time and peaceful solitude.

The body has settled in to a healthier rhythm and my energy has steadied.

People are now asking me what I plan to do once I reach the 100 day finish post.

The truth is, I have no idea. I will see what comes up in me on the day.

I am interested to see how it feels to be drunk and high after so long and more importantly, how 'I feel' about how 'it feels'!

I am slowly developing a new and evolved 100 day plan to enhance the changes and adjustments that I have experienced over this time.

More on that as it grows. If this 100 day experiment is anything to go by, I feel I can change almost anything in my life and reality with this system, which I have found so, so easy.

Peace (extra peace) and love.

Today I realized it was day 61!

Yesterday I reached day 60 and completely forgot until today.

It would seem that I am not counting the days as much as before.

It has been a very challenging period

Much is changing and growing around me and i feel that it is all leading to a clearer and more joyful time ahead.

The body is still not 100% following the shingles attack and although I can walk briskly and far with Mojo, I am still quite puffed out after our walks.

I have taken to doing humming meditation each night before sleep and listening to discourses from Osho.

As a child my parents took me to listen to taped discourses of the then Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh at various meditation centres around London and I would drift off to the sound of of his voice, only woken by the giggling of listeners following some crazy joke he might pop out.

So now his voice is comforting and soothing to me and all this is helping me sleep a little better. Even so, I am still waking up 2 or 3 times a night and experience disturbance in my body.

Continuing to lose weight and eat very carefully, usually just a bowl of fruit salad and then a reasonable size dinner. no other noshing or nibbling so that is moving along well.

I may leave the next blog until day 80 unless something worth reporting comes up.

The Mayan people have a lovely greeting that translates as "I am one of you, and you are one of me". It has inspired my most recent song that I have named after the greeting "Chamana urbana". Looking forward to recording and gigging it soon.

Love and peace and out

Halfway happenings

Why does day 50 feel like day one?

I have reached the halfway point of my project and am amazed to find that the ease and effortlessness remains, as it it did from day one.

I now seem to be over the worst of the shingles attack and am relieved to be off the anti-virals that completely wiped me out.

The right side of my face still feels like bad sunburn but it is slowly settling down.

Enjoyed a gathering of friends over the weekend and thought that it might be nice (and a good decision), to celebrate the halfway mark with a glass of my favorite wine.

The first sip was a shock. It just tasted awful. I was unable to drink it. just the most sour dry raspy taste and I gave up trying. I think my taste for wine has somehow 'un-aquired' itself!

I wonder if after day 100 I will find any old vice appealing at all.

I am still attempting to figure out why after so many years of habitual addiction, I was able, 50 days ago to just quit, and stay quit. As a bit of a control freak I feel the need to understand what has changed. If not to be of assistance to others, than at least for my own personal inner understanding.

I remember thinking to myself and mentioning to others that if I had a switch in the back of my head that if flipped, would remove all my craving and desire to be high or drunk, that I would grab the chance and flip the switch. Even if it meant never wanting to have those things ever again.

I am now seeing that that switch was flicked the moment I chose to start the project!

Looking back to mid August as I was counting down the two weeks to day one, it felt like I was so desperate to begin the process and save my poor body from the onslaught, but kept going with all the crazy nonsense, as if something inside was pushing me to really, really finish with running away from my life and myself. I was due to begin on the 20th August but out of sheer desperation brought the date forward to Sunday 16th.

By the time Sunday came around (day one), I was just so relieved to finally be free to not have to abuse my body. I felt liberated. As if I had just been released from jail and was standing outside the gate with a clear open road ahead.

How bizzare is that?

Perhaps, I am now considering, that it has not been about letting the body make the decisions at all. Maybe something bigger is at work that is deeper and wider than just the body.

I am sensing that a part of me that is not my normal conscious state is actually taking over the controls. Something beyond my 'doing' or affecting.

Too much other stuff is coming up, too many challenges are in my life and I sense that I am actually preparing myself for big changes that are imminent. Changes on all levels, within me, around me, and around all of us.

The status quo is losing it's meaning and dissolving. Things that used to matter no longer do, and things that I used to keep at a distance for fear of dealing with, are moving to the front of my experience. It is becoming clear to me that this whole project is about what I mentioned a few weeks ago. Diminishment of fear.

The first step was to stop controlling my head and heart with drink and drugs and begin to clear my mind. Now the next stage is able to start. I don't know what that means but something has begun

Watching the big wide open spaces.

I hope they have filled up with something in the next ten days.

Peace and love and out!

Challenges, expected and unexpected

Hi everyone, Got back from Crete late last night and completed 40 days of good decisions!

It's been a fantastic ten days since my last post. I have pushed the body to a new level of endurance and stamina but have also paid a price for my enthusiasm.

I have enjoyed swimming in the warm calm waters of the Med, power walked on beautiful sandy misty beaches, and trekked up and down two extraordinary gorges, one of which was a five hour round trip. Three hours up (and when I say 'up' I mean a 700 meter ascent over 5 kilometers)

followed by a grueling descent back down that really tested the knees and calves.

My legs have transformed and new muscles have appeared in new places. very rewarding and fulfilling.

I have really enjoyed spending such rare quality time with my beloved sister Bhasha and our adventures have brought us even closer than before.

The Cretan food, although a bit limited in variety was fresh and tasty, and I ate much more than usual while away. As I was burning many more calories than usual I have maintained my weight so happy with that.

I have sorely missed however, the chilli spice that forms so much of my diet, as it is non existent in greek cuisine. so this morning I splashed Tabasco all over my toast and have ordered extra spicy chinese to make up for lost heat.

The unexpected challenge that developed over the last few days is a dose of shingles on my face.

It started with a prickly sensation and then, while recuperating from our big gorge walk, I noticed a swelling behind and under my ear. The doc in Greece mis-diagnosed and ear infection and plonked me on antibiotics. The next day blisters began to appear. so went to see my doc on my return to London this morning and she diagnosed shingles which is basically chicken pox re-occuring as a virus that can cause nerve damage. the right side of my face is inflamed and sore and the blisters are becoming more sensitive.

I have another week or two of this to deal with but worse is that I may face months of neuralgic pain once the rash has disappeared.

I am not sure why this has happened now, but apparently it is due to a weakened immune system. So not all plain sailing this period but at least I know what's going on.

Even more reason for me to continue and strengthen my resolve to make better and better decisions over the next 60 days.

I have, all in all had a fantastic break away and am also so happy to be back with all my beloveds and ready to charge on on with my brilliant life.

My next blog is on Sunday week. Lets hope I'm over the worst by then

Peace and lurve.

Another ten days of easy livin' now on the beach!

Hi from the lovely rocky shores of southern crete.
Arrived here yesterday and taking a day to relax and get to know this rugged and beautiful island.

Staying in the lovely Matala. A small resort with a sunset beach and great restaurants and coffee shops, classy but not posh shops and very friendly people. Sat with my sis and watched a perfect sunset last night.

Feeling a bit tired today from the journey and a sleepless night filled yet again with strong dreams. had a chill by the pool and caught some rest.

The food here is amazing and a local custom appears to be FREE DESSERT! Little cakes or cheesy pastry things in honey with ice cream. Not wishing to be impolite I have allowed myself a little leaway and am enjoying.

On Friday we plan to tackle Europes longest and deepest gorge. Samaria.
Starting at 4am with a 3 hour bus journey to the north east.
Apparently it's a 4 kilometer walk down steps just to arrive at the gorge then a 4-5 hour trek to the beach where we can swim and eat. Thena boat trip back to the bus for a 21/2 drive back to Matala.


My body feels ready for it and although a bit tentative, I'm well up for it.

So while away I am gonna enjoy and may even have a bit of wine or beer if the fancy takes me. we'll see.

Will update after my big walk and tell you all how it went.

Time for a tea I think.
Peace out.

This is about more than the body now!

Small shift.. huge impact.

So I have reached day 20, a fifth of the way through my journey.

As far as the body is concerned, things have steadied and settled.

I have lost 2 kilos since day 10. A slowing from the loss of the first ten days but that was expected. Still on track.

My blood pressure is perfect and my energy in the day is now good.

I was for a few days however, sleeping much less at night and found myself awake in the early hours, with what felt like too much excess energy and wakefulness. This is now improving and I am settling more easily.

My dreams have become extraordinarily vivid and linger around me all day. I have experienced this before in times of abstinence and expected it.

I am watching these dreams with great interest. They are a new window to my awakening subconscious mind.

Enjoying strident walks through the Palace and Woods with my beautiful doggie Mojo.

Soon, I plan to start increasing the pace and length of my walks to boost my cardio and fitness levels. I will even start jogging, but not till day 30, as I wish to give my heart and lungs an extended holiday before putting them to work.

Still not craving either the habitual ritual, nor the effects, of space changing or mind altering foods, drinks or drugs. Quite amazing. Will I ever want them again?

Uh, probably!

But other realizations and insights are now surfacing that I had not even considered.

I have attended a few parties and social events like my monthly drum circle and am discovering that not only can I enjoy myself in the natural state, but also that if a party is, let’s say not resonating with me, I am able to just leave and do something else, with no sense of disappointment.

In other words, I feel much more responsible for my space and in control of deciding if I am in a sociable and chatty mood, or just wanting to be quiet and peaceful without judging one above the other.

I have always looked forward to parties and still do. But now, socializing no longer means escaping from my ‘boring‘ life.

In a way, it feels like the parties are never starting and so are actually never ending.

I feared that being at parties without drinking or whatever, I would be bored or worse boring, in company. Turns out, it’s not so.

A whole new way of being around people has arisen. A much less fearful, more open and ‘present’ experience is what I am finding. I’m not sure if others are enjoying my company more or less. That’s for them to decide.

I am also finding that my workspace and desk are much more organized and tidy than ever before. And I am getting so much more stuff done!

I am finding myself able to deal with much more activity and move through tasks with little or no stress.

Another change I have noticed, and this may be coincidence or I may be unwittingly manifesting it, but since beginning this project, I have found my financial and creative situation improving, but not through any direct conscious action.

It feels as though the new space inside is acting like a metaphysical vacuum and drawing in more and more possibilities without any effort.

As the fog clears after so many years, a completely new scene is emerging.

One very different to what I left behind as a younger man.

I could describe it as increased confidence, or inspiration, or a sense of my potential in life becoming a reality. But the closest I can get to the experience is that it is a diminishment of fear.

It’s like suddenly having a skeleton key that can open all the doors of my life.

With one turn, everything is unlocking simultaneously. Work, creativity, meaning, passion, growth, vision, determination health, vitality…all are surfacing and intensifying and it all feels very, very good!

It’s no wonder I have been keeping myself in an emotional, mental and physical prison…Somewhere inside I have always been aware of the power I have, and have not had the courage to release it. The gate has bust open. The beast is free. No going back now!

My next update at day 30 will be from the sun drenched shores of southern Crete, where I will be hiking, swimming and chilling with my wonderful big sister.

Till Then.

Day one to day ten.. this is just too easy!!

No cravings? No withdrawal? No suffering? What the hell is going on?

Well, so far I am finding that the theory is, for me at least, working a treat!

Having handed control and authority over to 'body' I have found that it has kind of possessed me.

Body has got used to being in charge and informs that it could get used to this arrangement (Gulp)!

It now feels as though my mind has given up to a large extent, trying to control and change it's state and has become much more passive and peripheral.

I have been around all the substances, food and drink that I would normally crave, but find myself completely uninterested in having both them and their effects running around my bloodstream and brain.

As I predicted, remaining sober in the evenings has allowed me to remain very alert to what I eat and drink, checking everything with body first and eating by the mouthful rather than the plateful. This has resulted in a loss of 3 kilos of weight over the ten days!

This is very exciting as I am moving towards my ideal weight much faster than I imagined I would.

Some other physical symptoms of excess that I had experienced daily, and that have disappeared over the ten days include;

indigestion, chest pains, wheezing, coughing, headaches, dizziness or wooziness and head fogginess.

I have also had a reduction in blood pressure and fatigue (although sleepiness still hits me in the afternoon as my brain adjusts to life without THC), and although this is yet to be checked, I would wager that my cholesterol is heading down as well.

Other changes have occured due to increased mental clarity including feeling more balanced in my mood, generally calmer, more able to deal with work and personal projects and hobbies, feeling less stressed, and more stimulated and energised to follow through with ideas and tasks.

All this is having a great effect on my family and friends who are enjoying the game (I mean experiment), and their support and interest is causing a positive feedback loop, increasing my resolve and single mindedness even further.

To be honest, the only thing that is worrying me is that I will not want to start using all the 'fun stuff' that body gets to reject after day 100 has arrived.

I will keep an open mind and stick to the plan. Feeling this good could become quite addictive!

As a general process, I am mindful that I personally was very ready to begin this project and that it may be more 'me' than the theory that is making it work. In other words, I was really ready and I think that has had a lot to do with the apparent effortlessness of the endeavour.

So begins the next 10 days, let's see what happens over that period.

See you then.

What is the '100 days of good decisions' life project?

The Objective.

The object of the exercise is to examine the effect on the body, after 100 days of only ingesting what it is designed and optimized to receive.

This includes anything that can be absorbed by the body in any way, including foods, liquids, gases (smoke), or any other substance that can enter the bloodstream.

 

The Challenge

The challenge is that in accepting the above objective I will have to abstain from ALL the substances, foods and drink that ‘I’ (my mind) loves, and my body copes with as best as it can.

 

The Theory

There seems to be a common assertion that trying to give up too many vices at once is unlikely to succeed, as it is too difficult to maintain such a dramatic lifestyle change.

My theory is that actually the opposite is true.

I claim that by focusing on the very core issue behind our vices, like comfort food, fat, sugar, caffeine, cocoa, cocaine, nicotine, alcohol, cannabis, all the stuff we put in to our bodies, we can stop all destructive and unhealthy decisions at once. 

That core issue being…..”I am unhappy in my natural mental state”. This can be experienced as boredom, envy, jealousy, resentment, frustration, self loathing, guilt, shame, fear or sorrow.

But whatever the circumstances are, the core issue remains -“I want to change the way I feel, right now”. Although we tie big stories to each of our vices - why we drink, why we over eat low quality food, why we smoke or whatever we do, the common truth is that we choose to make decisions, knowing that we are harming ourselves.

We do this, because it adjusts our immediate mental state and reduces or eliminates a sense of emptiness and inner discontent.

So how do we cope with this seemingly insane behavior?  How do we adjust to integrate damaging actions into our normal lives? We become Numb! We become unconscious. We disconnect with our bodies and disown them.

So, by reconnecting with the body – becoming alert to its needs and signals, feeling all the cravings and pangs,  we can focus on just one question to make every decision about what we should do or not do to stop harming ourselves.  That question is ..”If my body could decide, what would it do”? That’s it! For every drug, every drink or treat we give ourselves, don’t give up anything, or use willpower, simply let the body be the boss for 100 days and obey it. 

If faced with a choice between beer or water, we have to go with water, as it is what the body would choose. If given a choice to smoke or not, obviously lungs are designed for air, so ..no smoking.  White bread or brown bread? Again the body will choose more nutrition and fibre. So it makes a lot of difficult decisions very easy. Just one question, and the body will make good  health decisions for 100 days.

This wholistic approach that is ‘self awareness’ centered rather than focusing on the substances or bad habits, is a much easier way to abstain from every unhealthy activity.

Trying to quit smoking while continuing to drink alcohol is like sending our legs in different directions. Or trying to eat in a way that allows us to move towards our optimum weight while still getting stoned or high and having huge cravings creates an unnatural tension in our will and loss of judgement and resolve.

 

So, That’s the idea. 100 days of good decisions. Eliminating, at least temporarily, the bad decision maker that is the discontent mind and allowing the body to have authority .   Let the experiment begin!

  

Countdown

Tomorrow morning, Sunday 16th August at 7 am, I begin my 100 days of good decisions life project. I will post weekly updates and also a few videos throughout the period  which will end at 7 am on Monday 23rd November.

WISH ME LUCK!

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my blog. 

Soon I will begin the '100 days of good decisions' life project.

All will be explained before I start, in about 2-3 weeks.

speak soon.

Marc.